In my work I try to investigate connections. In my private life I encounter different connections. I love massage as an event in which two bodies meet. I like to be in a state of deep relaxation with some one else , a deep satisfaction of being both in a body or both having a body.

Several years ago I booked an hour long massage in a sauna. It seemed that the hands of the masseur didn’t leave any muscle untouched. It was a satisfying massage. I found myself in the hands of a man who had a lot of knowledge about the human anatomy, and also a lot of pride and devotion towards his profession. He obviously liked to do his work, ad liked to do his best, to do it very well. And he did. When he finished, a little before the hour passed, i asked him if we still had some time. I wanted to show something. He said yes and I asked him to change roles. No problem. He got rid of his shirt, I wrapped a towel around my waist. He lied down on the table. I was standing next to him . I  put one hand on his chest, and the other on his forehead. I didn’t do anything than letting my hands rest on his body. No pressure, not using any knowledge or technique. I just gave him the experience to be in connection with my hands, to feel the warmth of my hands, and perhaps even to feel the intimacy of being not alone in the world, on that very moment. I let time pass by. Several times. Then i redraw my hand and slowly he opened his eye. He was mesmerized. He said he had gone to sleep or lost consciousness. He never had such an experience. We embraced each other, he even kissed me goodbye.

A few years later I went to him again, he was happy to see me and said that he learned a lot from what my hand had given him. He integrated this experience in his work as a masseur and he thought it made him a better masseur.

Last year I had a two night stand with a man when i was on tour. The first time,that our bodies met – it wasn’t a night, actually it was a late afternoon – we took a lot of time. He was a huge man with a beautiful big body, who obviously wasn’t  at ease with his weight. I asked him to lie down on me and give me all his weight. He did so. We didn’t move for a long time. We were breathing, sensing the surfaces of our bodies. Slowly I felt that he got more and more relaxed and that his weight entered my body.I had to let go of everything and concentrated on the weight.  I fell asleep, perhaps i even lightly snored, when i woke up, he was clearly awake, almost ecstatic, we still hadn’t move. We started to exchange some information and thoughts about our lives, gently, curiously, the atmosphere was still very peaceful. It was indeed a beautiful man.

Yesterday I got a text-message, that after our meeting he decided to work with the body, and now he is a licensed Reiki masseur and he also learned to give tao and tantra massages.

I am not a masseur, but because of my work as a performer I like to experiment with what my hands or body can do in stillness. We don’t need always our genitals to get intimate luckily. Thinking of the forest project I hope my faun won’t limit himself to a belief in the almighty dominance of the cock but also will play with other body-parts.