If you take up residence in the Styrian province it is customary, that the “welcome wagon” arrives within minutes. Not in form of the towns elected representatives, but instead in form of police officers who have no intention to inform or to welcome you, but instead to intimidate, to insult, to violate and to criminalize you. As happened on the May the 6th 2010, in Poellau.

Tired of paying some Austrian property owner despicable rental fees for over priced substandard housing, I had managed to purchase a substandard dump within the town`s perimeter myself. On May the 6th I set foot on to this newly acquired property; or rather I drove my van up and parked in front of the house.

The intention was to investigate the premises, to record, take note of and assess what had to be “entnazifiziert” (de-nazified). Beton, Beton, Beton, Plastic, Formaldehyde and wall to wall
tiles; the house had to be gutted.
Contemplating this depressive site, another thoroughly hated object halted in the neighbourhood; a police car in silver, red and blue, from which two sour faced men stepped onto my property.

From the first floor window I declared to the trespassers: “This home is protected by Smith and Wesson, your services are not needed, do vacate the premises immediately, good bye, window shut”. � Well, I tolerated their presence. They kneeled down at bow and stern of the car, rolled once beneath from port side to starboard side, photographed the road, the car, the garden, the sidewalk and the house and then drove off in a hurry.

Hours later, I left the house and noticed that the cops had clamped a note to the windshield of the car- a traffic violation. Grotesque I though, these uniformed bastards issue fines for parking on ones own private lot. The ticket read accordingly “you are in violation for parking a motor vehicle with four wheels on the side walk” and was signed by number a 6176217.
7.

Weeks passed and another violation report arrived via mail, formulated the same date, namely the 6th and labelled as an anonymous report, citing the wrongful use of a “differentiation tag”� on the rear corner of the motor vehicle. The fine was set at 40 Euros.

A month later, another citation was served. This time it said that during a routine traffic inspection conducted by the motor vehicle safety police, it was noted that my automobile represent a serious hazard to pedestrians and other motorists and must therefore undergo a comprehensive inspection of all mechanical, structural and motor emission components. This despite the fact that the vehicle had just passed the mandatory yearly technical inspection.
Further it is to state, that I was never stopped by the police unit mentioned afore.
One of the bastard cops, who showed up in front of the house on the 6th , had obviously wrongfully reported to the motor vehicle safety corps, that rust had befallen the structural integrity of the car and urged them to list the car as a safety hazard.
In the months to come the car had to undergo, an extensive inspection conducted by state safety engineers and passed this hurdle with grace and with not one technical fault. Three engineers, employees of the state government drove out from Graz, rented a private truck repair facility, summoned me and the vehicle implicated, spent 4 hours under the car and declared that the car is save for operation on public grounds. I wonder at what price this super-gau-inspection came to bear on the tax payer.

On the “differentiation tag” case, I had to pay, for what, I don´t know to this date.

The “parking on my own property” charge was dropped; the bastard Cop, has not been dismissed for his wrongdoing, but I have labelled him as a class four patient, unfit for duty and soon to undergo a massive corrective dental proceedure as punishnent.                                                                                               JS USN Dental Corps.